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I’m all for fighting for marriage equality in the LGBT community. But we’re so focused on that no one knows about this problem.

W…wait Thats a thing????

Yep! The man I refer to as my husband? We aren’t actually married. We can’t be.

If I married him, the government would literally expect me to care for him and be his sole source of income. He would lose all of his benefits, including SSDI. Spouses are expected to share income and that effects ALL of his benefits, even his health insurance. We simply can’t afford to be married.

But it goes even further than that. If I were disabled, our incomes would STILL be combined, meaning BOTH of us would have our benefits cut.

For people reviving supplemental income, their benefits can be cut anywhere from 25% of their current income all the way down to 0%

In fact, one of the stipulations of receiving income under the adult disabled child program (which provides benefits for people who were disabled before age 22) is that they LITERALLY never be married.

I normally don’t link to blog posts as resources, but since social service resource sites like to dress this problem up and make it seem smaller than it really is, I’m gonna call it appropriate! Check it out!


I’m upset about the situation in case you couldn’t tell.

Hrnngh… This makes me angry.

Ok so I had benefits my whole teenage years and through college because I’m legally blind and can’t do regular tasks like operate machines, buttons drive, that kind of stuff. When I moved in with my boyfriend, he had to charge me rent, because if he didn’t, my benefits would be docked because his income (which we could never have lived on) was slightly greater than my benefits.

You’re only allowed to have access to so much. When you go over that amount, your benefits are docked.

When we got married, he had to submit his fucking pay stubs to the government so that they could track how much money I had access to and dock my benefits. In essence this prevented us from being a two income house. Toward the end of my time on benefits (finishing school to obtain a job) the government made a six month long mistake, miscalculating how much money they should give me by not properly reading his pay stubs.

They sent us a bill for $3000

So not only were we a single income household, we were now paying them 3k and having our tax return docked the remaining money that we supposedly owed them.

Oh and yeah, I lost my healthcare too, because when you lose benefits, you lose that too. And that was before the preexisting conditions law, which meant I had to pay out of pocket for anything to do with my eyes.

So yeah….

No such thing as marriage equality.

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