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I think you’re hella awesome, and I wanna be your friend, but I’m shy, and I don’t even know what I’d talk to you about, except maybe Simon? But then I’d feel like I was gossiping, which I try not to do…

My dude…I talk about Simon all the time.

He plagues my life. If he isn’t messaging me about new slang, refusing to meet his deadlines, sending me all sorts of posts, or pushing me to eat crickets, then he’s dead.

As for how to talk to me…

You just did? Like…What’s up!

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