maybe i’m wrong but??? disabled people sometimes need help??? and everyone should be okay with that???
for example: i am disabled. have two abled siblings. we are all adults; they’re a lot older than me. my siblings both have children. i get a lot of assistance from our parents. right now, i can’t work. right now i can’t go out into public spaces comfortably on my own (i can, but it’s hard and i prefer to have someone with me). that means i can’t shop for groceries alone; i can’t go out on necessary outings alone.
it looks a lot like i’m “coddled” and babied by my parents because of this, and my siblings are both so angry over it. they get so angry that i receive assistance. they talk about how they never do (which is extremely untrue). they talk about how unfair it is; about how i’m taking the easy way out. but they are abled. they have children and jobs. they take care of themselves extremely well–especially compared to me.
i get it. really i do. but look:
nobody who receives special assistance enjoys it. nobody likes being stared at while they get help. we all want to be able to say yes, i have a job; yes, i can take care of myself; yes, i am abled. but not all of us can.
i am an adult who is often seen as a child because of the assistance i receive and the life i lead. of course i don’t like it. nobody would like it. i hate “taking the easy way out” as my siblings and so many people refer to it. i want to be an independent human being. i want a career and a life. but right now i can’t; some people never can.
tl;dr some disabled people need help, and that should be respected. we aren’t taking anything away from abled people. we are getting the help we need to survive.
absolutely okay for abled people to reblog
Yeah, this is like my favorite convo to get into with able-bodied people, like
“You’re blind? You don’t look blind.”
“Exactly how does one LOOK blind?”
“Well like not being able to see, but you’re looking at me.”
“What little of you I can see and the place where your voice comes from.”
“Oh. But like you can move around and stuff, so like why do you need help?”
“Because if I can’t see your head, what ele can’t I see?”
“But like, just get glasses/get surgery/go to a doctor/pray about it and then you won’t need to take from the REALLY blind people.”
“Ok Imma stop you right there. Do you think I like being blind and needing help? Do I strike you as someone who might enjoy being at the behest of others? Don’t you think that if ANY of those things could fix my problem I would have already done them? How do you know I haven’t done literally ALL those things with zero results? My impairment cannot be fixed with glasses, I’ve had as many surgeries as can do any amount of dent into the issue, I’ve been to literally dozens of doctors, and my step dad was a minister. Tell me what part of that doesn’t meet with your approval. I have something that looks exactly like macular degeneration when it is in its late stages. Nobody tells 85 years olds with vision better than mine that they should just step aside and not get help, so why is it that because I am younger, I shouldn’t have help? I am REALLY BLIND and when I need help, I shouldn’t have to feel ashamed, or that I am stealing resources.”
Like, I have had people actually tell me that I shouldn’t put my name on assistance dog lists, because it would be taking a dog from someone who really needs it.
Like wtf? Who are you now to judge my mobility, as an able-bodied person? Do you know how many times a week I trip and nearly die, when walking with a dog helps me to avoid that? Do you know how many times I’ve been targeted by criminals because I am walking alone, with a cane? Who the fuck are you people that you would think yourself the authority on how someone else’s body functions?