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I had a weird ass dream

Like I don’t even know where to begin.

I usually don’t remember my dreams, but this week is different because I’m hella sick and on all sorts of meds. 

I dreamt I was Captain Picard, only he wasn’t the captain of the Enterprise, he was like…the chief of this uh…policing organization? IDK. So I was fighting a leak within our organization and I found out that I was going to be set up to be murdered, and I thought the best way to capture them was to just let them think I was dead (this is so Batman/Commissioner Gordon right now OMG). So I faked my own death.

But I needed help doing that, so I had a few friends in on it. So I went back to the places where these informants and friends were, one by one, wearing a blue hoodie and just checking in with them trying to find out who knew what and everything, and I kept accidentally running into people who I didn’t want to know I was alive, so like, I’d turn away or hide my face, or something, and because i was waring a blue hoodie, which everyone knew I wouldn’t be caught dead in, they didn’t recognize me.

Anyway, all of this focused around a river, like a city on a river, like London. I kept having to cross the river on a boat, and like trying to get information, while avoiding the bad people. And the whole dream was bogged down with totally mundane shit, like having to eat and finding out one of my favorite restaurants to hide out in had been bought by new owners and that I’d have to acquaint them with the situation that was me because I needed this place to hide, but the new restaurant was like, getting press attention, so all the people I’m hiding from kept showing up, and it was no longer a good hideout…like wtf?

Finally, I decided to go back to the office and to do that, I could only get in via boat. So I’m like trying to find a good way to do this right, because come on, the policing organization that ONLY has a boat entrance, isn’t going to just let anybody in. So I go to this woman and I ask her to give me this drug that will do something (in the dream I knew what but conveniently didn’t tell myself what was going to happen…huh?) So I get on the boat and we go down river, and the woman running the boat is there with her husband and they keep asking me where I’m going and I keep saying, “oh just up here”. And then I wait for this one building to appear and it’s like a white stone building, super beautiful. As soon as I see it, I drink the medicine. I start to feel all woozy, and things don’t make sense so I sort of fall over, and the pilot rushes to me and wants to know if I’m okay, and I can only say “look at that building. You know that’s a house? Isn’t it a pretty house?”

So the pilot and her husband decide they need to get me to the policing station, so the float up to the gate and are all “This dude’s totally dying and shit.” The gate guards let us in, and one of them is my homie who knows I’m alive. So he instantly takes me to my old office, which is vacant out of mourning for my death. I’m lying there on my office floor, right, like all my shit is packed up in boxes and the whole room is just kind of vacant. There’s my desk and my conference tables and everything, but its all empty…

So I’m in my altered state, staring up at the ceiling, thinking “Holy shit this stuff was strong! And sort of wondering how I was going to solve my own murder. When all of a sudden I realize that there is a MASSIVE group of ants like, crawling across my fucking ceiling? 

Like a giant fucking hive of ants, coming out of the wall, going over the ceiling, and then down and around. So I shout at the guy who brought me in and tell him to get a spray bottle with some orange oil in it and spray the everloving shit out of them, how dare they let my office go to seed while I’m away!

And I get up and I’m cleaning my office and killing ants, and this woman walks in, who I’m pretty sure is the person who is the bad guy, and she sees me, doesn’t recognize me but says “Our captain hated ants so much.”

And I’m like hiding my face and mumbling. And she starts to go through my boxes of stuff, like “Oh isn’t it a shame he’s dead, someone ought to do something with all this stuff.” and i see her try to steal some files, and I’m like “Bam bitch I got you.”

Only she still didn’t recognize me. I had to prove I was me to everyone who came in while I was shouting.

Like…

What even the fuck is going on?

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