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I took a Spanish class in middle school and I’m still bitter about the time I got points knocked off my assignment for writing “el muchacho come el lobo” when I clearly illustrated a boy voring a wolf in a forest, with an arrow pointing from the sentence to my drawing. 

My dude…

One time, I got a C on a Spanish paper I wrote. The prompt was “What would you do with $1 million dollars?”

My essay was titled “I sold my kidney” in Spanish. It was a lengthy satire about how I’d sold my kidney for a million dollars, but that the person who’d cut it out of me had been very wrong about the side effects. That I had spent all my million undoing the horrible decision to offer up a black market organ, including hiring a hitman to kill the new owner of said organ to get it back.

She looked me straight in the eye and said “I gave you a C because the prompt was simple. No one does what you wrote about. It’s silly.”

I said “The prompt indicates it’s all fiction, so why does it matter that what I said isn’t real? Why does it matter if it was silly? Was the Spanish wrong?”

But she was from Sweden and had no sense of humor and told me that to be nice to me she’d give me the ability to rewrite my masterpiece.

In it, I described how I would spend my million getting advanced training in satire and buying tickets to comedy shows for everyone who was a TA in the Spanish Language department, because I find they lack wit.

She gave me an A.

So clearly, they have a sense of irony.

I have something to work with at least.

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