Hubs:I’m sorry to disturb your candy stuffing.

Me: Says the man twice as heavy as me even though I had a child. My “candy” is mostly nuts.

Hubs: Well, my nuts are mostly candy so…

Me: Explains the gay.

Hubs: That made no sense.

My 2yo: It makes sense, Daddy.

The mouths of babes, you queer dork. Eat my nuts.