OK, I need to vent.
I got back from London to Birmingham, sometime around 2 PM. So let me just outline the last few days for you.
I haven’t had Internet for a month, because when I moved into the new place I had to shop, and BT said they could only start up my service on the 15th. so my service starts and my modem isn’t here. They tell me the modem is coming the day I am not going to be there. I put a note on the door saying please deliver the package to such and such location, signed me. Package text message comes, saying they could not deliver the package. I go to the post office to collect it, and they’re not open. It’s noon. I say “what post office is an open at noon?” the man says “this one”. So I go on the website, and learn that I can reschedule the delivery. I do. It comes, and doesn’t even work. I call BT customer service. They say, “what kind of modem is it? Oh that’s bad.”
Then they schedule a secondary modem to be shipped to me.
I’m still not home. They send me a text message saying they’re going to deliver the item when I’m not home. I put a bin outside with the sign on it that says packages. I put a note on the door that says please put boxes into bin. I get a text message saying that the package has been delivered. When I get home the package is not in the bin. There’s a slip inside my mail slot that says the package was delivered to a neighbor. OK maybe you don’t fucking read. I collect the package from the neighbor. I plug it in, and the modem works, for all of about two minutes.
I call BT. The man answers “Hello?”
I say “Hello?” Expecting a professional “you’ve called By wtf is up?”
“Is this BT?”
“Are you going to fucking talk or keep saying hello?”
And so on.
He runs diagnostics, by call drops.
I go to call it back and get a message from my phone company saying g that my phone has run out of time which is impossible because I just had my new billing cycle begin and I’ve only made two calls. I can’t call anyone but the top up number. I try to top up. Card declined. Wtf why?
It’s a British card. Huh?
I call. I say why won’t my card I’ve been using all this time work?
Operator tries to tell me, call disconnects.
Fuck you. Call back. This operator says “we need to confirm the address on the card”
I’m like oh, it’s one of three. I have two U.K. And one USA address. I give him the two U.K. He says “ma’am I have to help other customers.” I’m like “ok let me run my third address by you” he talks over top of me mansplainingnhow credit cards work. Then he says “I can’t waste time on you. You need to call your bank and find out which address is on file for this card.”
I said “how the fuck am I supposed to do that when I can’t get minutes on my phone? Let me give you the third address…”
“I’m not going to do that and you need to stop raising your voice.”
“Bitch I will raise my voice to whomever I wish. I pay you to help me so fucking help me by listening g to me and stop talking over me ”
Meanwhile as he talks over me “I’m not customer service. I’m customer support and you don’t know your own account-”
“Are you going to let me give you the information or are you going to talk over me”
“Stop shouting to me!”
“Close your fucking face tube listen to the words coming from me that you requested.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
I hung up. Went to kitchen, got gin. Drank. Called back the bank. “Why is my card being declined?”
“We can’t tell you anything.”
“You’re not authorized for phone banking, which you can do on Monday.”
“Bitch I am ina. Foreign country alone and I’m blind, and can’t call anyone. Are you going to help me or not?”
They consent to letting me run through my many addresses for them to determine which is on file. I go to the website for the phone company and enter new details. They tell me Bank has declined. Except bank is on the phone and says “you haven’t even been charged”. I’m like……
I call EE. I tell the FEMALE operator what has been going on. I ask her how I can get my card confirmed by them so that it stops being registered as fraud even though the bank says that nothing has even been charged. I tell her about the man who talked over me and shouted. She gives me £20 free credit and reports him to the supervisor so that the recorded call can be reviewed. She registers my U.K. bank card so it won’t be registered in their accounts as fraud, and even checks it.
I FINALLY CALL BT BACK.
THE NEXT THEEE CALLS HANG UP ON ME.
I finally get through. I leave the man who answers my cell so he can call if I’m disconnected.
I tell him this is literally the second modem OF THE SAME TYPE to go bad “is there anyone you can send to take this shit from me and make sure it works?”
He says “this is the U.K. We have one foot in the 17th century.”
Fuck you “I’m gonna drink some whiskey”
“I wish I could join you.”
He goes through whole thing and tells me “I can’t fix it. I have no idea what’s happening.”
I said “the modern lit up at first and now won’t”
“I’ll send you a text in the next 24HOURS to confirm a time an engineer can come out to look at it…”
While this is happening… my tooth breaks. The same tooth I’ve had repaired like ten times. I’m left with no internet, a phone on the barest essentials, and a fucking broken tooth. I beg my husband to help me.
He searches and recommend an emergency dental practice here. I call and make an appt.
This country is so fucking behind the times. Nothing is easy or convenient. Nothing works. Everyone is happy with bullshit and not a god damn thing getting done.
It’s fucking bullshit. I hate everything about it.
I literally said to the BT guy “is there someone I can take my American ass to? Because I have absolutely no problem calling them on their fucking preposterous horsepucket. Let’s be honest it’s what Americans do best. How the fuck can you stand this?”
He asked what whiskey I was drinking.