simonalkenmayer:

kristinalmeister:

Apparently I’m like an official Simon-approved tour/drinking/meet-and-greet diplomat on behalf of this vampire-undead-swooping-motherfucker. I guess he thinks that because he pays me to edit and made me sign all sorts of NDA contracts, I’m supposed to go meet his “gentle readers” and *not* talk shit about him. I guess if I have fun and leave them sober, I will suffer the karmic wrath of the universe.

@simonalkenmayer you are a bag of dicks, but thank you for the flowers. Next time, make it a bottle of Cava.

You’re welcome. Enjoy them.

And next time try not to fail.

God damnit Simon!