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To my “Who is the handsomest human” anon of the other day.

Like, i bet there are humans though that you find attractive. I mean you know Chef is attractive. I mean you bonded with Chef. What I mean is…How does all that work, with Chef?

I find his physique very appealing because I would eat him. I like his blood and sundry. I grasp your question, but let me see if I can make this more clear.

To me humans are divided in two. They are minds or souls that I can touch and wrap around myself, perhaps pleasure or enjoy…and they are also a meat sack with some mildly offensive characteristics. People often get divided into these categories, usually at once, with most humans ending up labeled food. But once in a great while…more frequently of late than before (possibly because of the separation the internet gives me) i meet someone who either defies the food label or instantly makes it evident they are not food. Those are the people I tend to steep myself in like a dried out old leaf. Those are the warm bath on a cold night.

Chef is…i don’t know how to say this. He is a foe, but in the best possible way. I am stronger than him, faster, older, more knowledgable in some things, but there isn’t a person alive capable of instantly shutting off my thoughts and anxieties as he does, by knowing me, by fighting me. By force.

So it is alright if I find him obnoxious. It is alright if he loses my wallet. It is alright if I feel like sometimes biting a hole in him. Because that is just the way equilibrium is had with me.

If love is equilibrium, wherein no party feels oppressed or undone…then for each person that must be reached in some way. Even those “warm bath” “cup of tea” people are compromising to me – i have to diffuse parts of myself to be near them. They inspire that in me and it is refreshing. But with chef, that is not the case. With him, I am not compromised or held down.

I am just me. Bear.


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