don’t try to tell me otter facts i already know all of them. yes i know otters hold hands. yes i know they keep special rocks. yes i know they use their bellies as tiny tables. i know it all
Oh I hear you Sea otters get all the love and get all their facts spilled all the time.
But do you know about otters big asshole brother? In South America there are Giant Otters. These are six foot long tubes of muscle who give less fucks then a honey badger. They are Apex predators and very, very good hunters.
They are known for stealing food from gators. They eat small caiman and friggin anaconda if they venture too close because why the hell not. They also eat Piranha because they fear nothing and consume the weak. They are attracted to watermelon (there are stories of them stealing them out of gardens) Which is weird as heck because they apparently hate the taste.
Best part. They hunt in packs. These guys are bamf.
No Fucks given
Fight me bro
Giant fucking otters
RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE
I first heard about giant otters in a Kresley Cole book (paranormal romance), and I thought they were interesting so I looked them up and was ASTOUNDED that they were real. Like, not just “used to be” like dinosaurs, but “currently living” real.
You wasted an opportunity to show the faces they make when they eat watermelon. They obv hate it, they CRY and GRIMACE, and yet they keep eating. Let me fix your mistake for you.
The Brain Squirrel Monologues 