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just finished the last chapter of Mise en Place. how much pleasure do you take in the sound of your readers’ jaws hitting the floor with such force that the hardwood splinters?


I did not decide the structure of the book. I take absolutely NO responsibility! My editor @kristinalmeister is the curator of these entries. She arranges them in a way that will appeal to plot-driven hordes, and then forces me to sacrifice entries to the cause. Some 20,000 words were cut from the span of time the books contains, and I fought her for many of them.

You know I only cut stuff that can afford to be cut. The book was still 102k words. If we’d handed them another 175k book, Laurie would skin us both. Use our fat to make candles like that fucking raccoon, which was gross btw.

I’m just saying, “curating” you is difficult when I have to go through and read past an explanation of how to reset a grandfather clock, or like…idk the conversations you have with your dog. Like, I am a huge proponent of the whole ambiant metaphor, of things in a scene that you’re doing or seeing mirroring the conversation in your head, but you know we have to trim it to fit an audience of many. So…I just want you all to know that I worked really fracking hard on getting Simon to turn out a cohesive piece that would slake your thirst for blood…or whatever the hell you people drink? Like…koolaid? Beer? Idk.

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