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You wanted cookies. I give you the classic chocolate chip.

What brand of chocolate?

Ghirardelli dark.

Why the fuck are you baking cookies? The next Snack is due in an hour and you haven’t even given it to me yet! Stop procrastinating or I’m telling Laurie.

Oh my god.

Did I just see the monster get scolded? I’m in awe!!!

She is pernicious.

You pay me to be.

No more fucking cookies unless you’re licking the crumbs off your god damn keyboard. What am I supposed to say? You want me to have to email Adrienne and be like, “Yo, Sigh-bear was late with the copy because he was really in need of some fucking chocolate chips. It’s cool though, right?”

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