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Lemon Meringue Pie, a recipe

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

vampireapologist:

simonalkenmayer:

Lemon Meringue Pie, a recipe

This pie recipe has gone through several iterations, refining it for maximal citrus flavor. It is not to be taken lightly, as it employs many more difficult aspects of cooking science. I highly recommend attempting it, only if you are well-versed in baking, or pies in general. And by this, I do not mean eating pies. You may eat as many chocolate cream tarts as you like, it does not make you…

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can’t believe i have to hire a professional baker to make this pie for me

I once made it for a sommelier friend of Chef’s. He was a wine purchaser at a gourmet grocery store. The very next day when I visited him, I saw that the baking department had for sale a “Buddha’s Hand Lemon Meringue Pie” for $60. I gave him a stern look. He told me that he had been thinking about the pie all night, and wanted to be able to purchase it, and so he had helpfully given my recipe to the bakery. I purchased one.

It was not as good.

I can’t believe I’m going to hire you, personally, to make this pie for me.

If you give me your address, I will ship it to you.

Tempting, but I’m having flashbacks to my fifth-grade internet safety class.

I can’t believe I’d open a P.O. box specifically for pie submissions.

This is how it begins…

That’s so vaguely ominous. What is “it?” A lifetime of pies??

Either our perpetual acquaintance or morbid obesity, I cannot say.

Both are risks I’m willing to take.

Wonderful…now I must ascertain how to ship a pie cross-country.

We need the pony express of pies. A dedicated team of tireless heroes who will Protect your pie with their Lives.

They would surely need to be paid in pies or allergic to pies for this plan to work.

Or else we run the risk of repeating my earlier recounting of why there are no great tortoises in the zoos of Europe. Far too delicious, no matter how high the reward.

Are you telling me the people in charge of transporting the tortoises just kept….eating them??

Why do our conversations keep coming back to me being outraged over turtle discourse.

Anyway, it looks like you’ll have to be willing to bake two pies.

It is a vicious circle, and my work load is increasing by the reblog.

You could have let me use a different chef; I’m not picky about pies. Honestly, you did this to yourself.

When you are me, you must find a person’s heart in one of two ways: their stomach, or by circular saw through the sternum.

I’d say your sense of humor is what won me over, but I think you’re only trying to be funny less than half of the times that I laugh.

I’ll never tell.

These feeds are gold LMAO

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